Good News from the Resistance: Congratulations, Resisters! You made it through Year 1 of our Dystopian Nightmare. As 45 tried to dismantle our democracy, we woke up, signed up, showed up, and did not give up. Over the weekend, hundreds of thousands of marchers turned up in cities across the U.S. and throughout the world, to insist, resist and persist. Last year’s Women’s March organizers kicked off Power to the Polls in Las Vegas, a drive to register 1 million new voters in time for the midterm elections.
On-going investigations into 45 and his Inner Circle continue, and much like a Whac-a-Mole, they keep popping up. Bannon’s expected to squawk before Mueller’s truth squad, which experts say now has razor-sharp focus on the trail to 45’s dirty Russian money. This week, Mueller’s investigators knocked on the door of the Italian girlfriend of 45’s former campaign aide, George singing-like-a-bird Papadopoulos, and the NRA (yes, that NRA) may have laundered money for the Russians in an effort to get 45 elected.
You know that feeling you get a few minutes before a party, when you fear that all your preparation will be for naught, because no one will show up? For 45, that fear became reality at last year’s Inauguration. After raising $107 million to fete thousands of friends and admirers with the most bigly, huuuge musical stars in the world, most didn’t show up. Which means there was a lot of leftover money. Where’d it go? 45 won’t say. It’s under investigation.
Speaking of tightly held secrets, 45’s dalliance with porn star Stormy Daniels has led to yet another investigation. No, it’s not about the sex – Stormy’s revealed that in horrifying detail. As is often the case with our Real-Estate-Developer-in-Chief, it’s about the cash. Looks like his lawyer set up a shell company to hide Stormy’s hush money. Now, dear Resisters, it’s time to flush from your brain that image of 45 chasing Stormy around the bed in his tighty whities, and read this week’s Good News:
- Be thankful Manafort’s trial date has been moved to the Fall
- Congratulate Wisconsin for flipping key seat in special election
- Say farewell to yet another outed racist appointee
- Learn how to translate “shithole” into multiple languages
- Laugh at emoji projected onto 45’s hotel
- Cry tears of joy for Obama’s 2018 plans
- Bet on British bookies
- Thank Salon for shout out to Good News from the Resistance
Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.
WE JUDGE AMY BERMAN JACKSON
Manafort and Gates had a hearing last week, and Judge Jackson moved their trial dates to the fall. Which is very, very good news for the midterm elections.
WE WISCONSIN FLIP
Republicans have held the seat since 2000. Last year, the district went 55-38 for 45. Last week it turned Blue.
WE DRAINING 45’s SWAMP
The unapologetic, blatantly vocal racist 45 appointed as the face of the agency that runs AmeriCorp resigned after voicing anti-black, anti-Muslim, anti-veteran, anti-gay, etc., etc., etc. comments on the radio. He said these things before 45 appointed him to his post.
WE THESE TRANSLATIONS
You say “shithole,” I say, “countries where birds don’t lay eggs.” Whatever the translation, our National Ass made our country look small … yet again.
WE ARTISTS HAVING FUN WITH EMOJIS
Just once we wish we could be in front of 45’s hotel in person, to see these projection artists at work.
WE OBAMA. AND HE US.
He’s coming back!
WE BRITISH BOOKIES
U.S. pollsters didn’t think a 45 win was possible, so maybe it’s time to turn to the Brits to predict what will happen next.
WE BEING MENTIONED IN SAME ARTICLE AS PRINCE HARRY & MEGHAN MARKLE
Salon writer Mary Elizabeth Williams says Good News from the Resistance is “(a) guiding light in the dark fog of collective misery in my life,” which is good news for us!