Good News from the Resistance: It’s starting to feel a lot like the months leading up to the 2018 midterms. Think back: We were still suffering from 2016 Election PTSD, and not quite sure what tricks the GOP had in their playbook to steal House seats. With nothing less than our Democracy at stake, we educated ourselves, organized, and Got Out The Vote. No down-ballot race was trivial enough for us to ignore.
The outcome? Record-setting voter turnout. Democrats won 10 million more votes than Republicans, the largest margin in a midterm election ever. Voting rose most dramatically within groups favoring Democrats – youth, Black, Asian, and Hispanic voters. Our Blue Wave was a Tsunami. Two years later, we are angrier, more motivated, and better organized. Mark my words – we’re going to boot the Occupant of the White House out with such force he’ll leave an Orange Smudge on the Oval Office carpet. Which Biden’s people happily will clean up with stockpiled Clorox Wipes. (Note to Biden: Save some Wipes for McConnell and Collins).
Here’s a run-down of what he’s recently lost:
- The ability to fill an arena with pro-COVID fans.
- The skill to walk down a ramp without looking like a Blow Up Clown Punching Bag about to tip over.
- Power Republicans, who are organizing pro-Biden PACs, like 43 Alumni for Biden, Republican Voters Against Trump, The Lincoln Project, and Right Side PAC.
- Supreme Court decisions, that, despite the Grifter-in-Chief’s best efforts, expanded LGBTQ Americans’ workplace rights, allowed DACA recipients to remain in the U.S., maintained safeguards in the Clean Water Act, and upheld California’s Sanctuary Law.
- Legal decisions, that give former felons in Florida the right to vote, and green-lighted both the pyramid scheme charges against the Orange Grifter and his family, and the emoluments case, which accuses him of accepting foreign government money via his D.C. hotel.
- His campaign against Colin Kaepernick’s knee.
- The ability to ensure the candidates he endorses win.
- His battle to keep Bolton’s book off the shelves.
Yet, we will have to get through a few very difficult months. When you feel yourself slipping into a Trump-loathing abyss, or lacking confidence in the stellar poll numbers, try this visualization exercise. I think it will help.
Close your eyes and imagine a bloated yam topped by a mop of combed-over, pineapple-yellow hair riding an escalator in Trump Tower. Like the day It kicked off Its presidential campaign, the bloated yam is riding that escalator Down. But now, the look on Its face is pure terror, as half-way down, the elevator speeds up so fast that Its hairspray has no chance of maintaining the integrity of the heavily-shellacked pineapple comb-over. The escalator comes within inches of crashing into the marble floor (recently buffed to perfection by a poorly paid, though uncaged, undocumented worker on Its payroll). The bloated yam of combed-over, pineapple-yellow hair alternately flails Its arms and frantically grabs onto the rails, but there is nothing It can do to stop it. Some of us cringe in horror, others applaud with glee, as we watch the escalator smash through the marble floor, the bloated yam screaming, blowzy pineapple-yellow hair askew, holding on for dear life. But it keeps going, pushing full speed ahead towards the bloated yam’s final destination: Hell.
Yes, there’s more Good News from the Resistance:
- Learn why the TikTok generation is filling on-line MAGA shopping carts
- Thank Pizza to the Polls for feeding hungry voters
- Wonder if the Trump campaign will steal this idea from the Barcelona opera
- Make a deposit in this hilarious guy’s Venmo account
- Chuckle when you learn that Trump lives on Black Lives Matter Street
- Send your extra yarmulkes to these kids
- See the formerly extinct bird that’s back
- Root for these awesome Girl Scouts
- Watch Sarah Cooper
- Take Action: Check out Together for 2020 to learn what you can do to help take back the White House, Senate, and flip down-ballot candidates in competitive races across the country.
Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.