Won’t You Be a Helper?

Good News from the Resistance: It’s been a horrible few days for Good News Seekers. Which means it’s time, once again, to turn to one of our favorite philosophers for insight: Mr. Rogers, who told us, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You always find people who are helping.'” Now’s the time for each of us to step up to be a Helper. Our voices matter.

This morning we reached out to Congressional aides to ask what we can do. Our immediate course of action is simple: 1) Send a message of support or call everyone on The Squad to say thank-you, we’ve got your back, 2) Call or send a message of support to the 13 GOP lawmakers who condemned the Racist-in-Chief’s remarks, and 3) Call or send a message of outrage to the 13 GOP lawmakers who supported the Racist’s remarks.

Don’t have time to send 30 notes or make 30 calls? Then check the lists to see if there is a lawmaker from your district, and contact them. If not, figure out what you feel most strongly about — supporting The Squad, thanking the 13 GOP Lawmakers with a Spine, or condemning the 13 Super Duper Extra Special Evil Racists. Just do something.

We’ve made it easy. Click on the link of the person you want to contact, and all the info you need will be there.

To send a message of support to each member of The Squad: (Note: Preferred method is to send a postcard or letter unless you live in the Congresswoman’s district; staff answering phones and email are being overwhelmed).

Ayanna PressleyAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez; Ilhan Omar; Rashida Tlaib

To send a message of support to GOP lawmakers who condemned Trump’s remarks:

Kelly Armstrong (R-ND); Troy Balderson (R-OH); Tom Cole (R-OK); Joni Ernst (R-IA); Mike Gallagher (R-WI); Bill Huizenga (R-MI); Will Hurd (R-TX); David Joyce (R-OH); Lisa Murkowski (R-AK); Pete Olson (R-TX); Rob Portman (R-OH); Marco Rubio (R-FL); Michael Turner (R-OH)

To send a message of outrage to GOP lawmakers who supported Trump’s remarks:

Ralph Abraham (R-LA); Jim Banks (R-IN); Bradley Byrne (R-AL); Dan Crenshaw (R-TX); Steve Daines (R-MT); Sean P. Duffy (R-WI); Lance Gooden (R-TX); . Lindsey O. Graham (R-SC); Andy Harris (R-MD); James M. Inhofe (R-OK); Jim Jordan (R-OH); Ralph Norman (R-SC); Scott Perry (R-PA)

Extra Credit: Forward this post to family and friends, especially those who live in districts represented by GOP lawmakers listed above. Politicians care first and foremost about getting re-elected. They need to hear from their constituents.

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Let’s Get Patriotic!

Good News from the Resistance: There’s nothing our Baby Blimp president hates more than losing. So while he’s readying for our nation’s 243rd birthday by trotting across the globe tickling the palms of dictators, we’re celebrating the 4th by highlighting a few of his notable losses.

So let’s get patriotic, and make a game of this. Which of the following losses do you think provoked the most spirited Impotus Temper TantrumLosing  a) his Hollywood star; b) the ability to keep his financial records a secret; c) large swaths of his Wall in Arizona, New Mexico and California; d) his presence on Ravelry (a popular knitting site); e) big media’s attention; f) his Suckup-in-Chiefette; g) his truth-telling pollsters; h) the NRA’s political director, i) his whip-carrying Chief of Protocol; j) private vetting documents detailing dirt on his talented staff; k) the opportunity to meet Megan Rapinoe; l) immigrant detention centers run by his private sector cronies; m) his faith in baby boy Trump Jr. being able to drink safely; n) a defense secretary who claimed his son was acting in self-defense when he beat his mother unconscious with a baseball bat.

Extra credit: Which of these losses do you imagine our Racist-in-Chief took hardest? a) A “very fine person,” a.k.a. the Charlottesville neo-Nazi murderer, being sentenced to life in prison; b) 72 Philadelphia police officers taken off street duty for writing racist Facebook posts; c) Richmond renaming an iconic boulevard after Arthur Ashe.

Which is all to say, when bad things happen to bad people, it’s all good.  Yes, there’s even more Good News from the Resistance:

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Rikers, the Blimp and the Queen

Good News from the Resistance:  Pelosi continues to resist the  “I”-word, yet last week she uttered the “P”-word. Which got us dreaming about a Future-Convict-in-Chief, and wondering what’s up with his incarcerated former BFFs: Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort. How are those good ‘ole Swamp Dwellers doing?

Attorney Michael Cohen is having the time of his life in “one of the cushiest lock-ups in the country,” where inmates are treating him like a celebrity, pumping him for details about his former boss and his intimate knowledge of porn stars. The Orange Grifter’s campaign manager, Paul Manafort? Not so lucky. He’s being transferred to Rikers – a prison infamous for violence and inmate abuse. At least he’ll have a private room, which should give the ostrich jacket-wearing dandy plenty of time to pump out a memoir. Suggested working title? My Personal Journey From Trump Tower to Rikers.

Meanwhile, the Grifter-in-Chief continues to live it up, checking off items on his Vacation Bucket List. Although, last week’s trip wasn’t quite as bodacious as he’d hoped. Hats off to the Brits! The Carnival of Resistance began before our National Embarrassment even touched ground. As Air Force One was landing, it was hard for the tiny-handed, stubby-fingered leader of the Free World to miss the giant penis and message “Climate Change is Real” mowed into a field below his plane. Talk about creativity.

From the 16-ft. tall farting presidential robot, to Larry the Downing Street Cat, the Resistance was out in full-force, with posters so good they put Americans’ to shame. Tensions rose when a knife-wielding Trump supporter yelled, “I’m going in!” and slashed the resting Baby Trump Blimp, but it was nothing a little duct tape couldn’t fix, and all ended well when the blimp took flight over Parliament, and the amateur surgeon was arrested.

While the Divider-in-Chief is trying his best to break the U.S. government, in London he was pure uniter, doing what no British politician has been able to do: bring together conservatives, liberals, and royals . Everyone snubbed him. Conservative Boris Johnson and opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn both refused a meeting; Princes Harry and William refused him photo-ops; Nasty Meghan remained indisposed. And oh, what we would have given to be a fly on the wall when the Infant-in-Chief learned that his carriage ride with the Queen had been nixed because of the protesters. Hint to Melania: When you get back to NYC, put on a gown and a crown, squeeze your husband into a tux, and take a carriage ride around Central Park.

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Come Together, Right Now …
Over Whomever

Good News from the Resistance: It’s graduation season, and with that comes feel-good stories that uphold the myth of the American Dream. This year’s winners: The 2019 graduating class of Morehouse College won the lottery when investor Robert Smith decided to pay off everyone’s student loans; a homeless high school valedictorian in Memphis got scholarships to 50 colleges. We’re happy for them. (And because we report only Good News, we won’t ask, what about all of the other students with crippling college debt, and the 2.5 million other homeless kids in the U.S.?).

A resistance feel-good story that wasn’t covered? Anti-Education Secretary Cruella DeVos stayed off the graduation circuit this year. Kudos to all of the graduates who booed and turned their backs to DeVos in previous years. You did it!

Here’s the Best News we learned last week: Despite a primary field that looks like Jones Beach on the 4th of July, Democrats are singing a song of unity to beat the Divider-in-Chief. With so much at stake, Dems are already at work — a year ahead of the typical timeline for presidential elections. Remarkably, many of the grassroots resistance organizations formed after the 2016 election and the DNC are moving in the same direction to support our candidate. No matter who she or he is. If Cocaine Mitch can build a unified wall of resistance, so can we. Here are our favorite Good News Efforts:

This summer, Organizing Corps 2020, a DNC project, is hiring rising college seniors, focusing on students of color, in Battleground States. First, the students will be trained in campaign organizing. Then, with the support of local Democratic parties, they’ll organize and register new voters in their neighborhoods and on campus. When they graduate next spring, their first job out of college will be working to elect the 2020 Democratic nominee to the presidency. No matter who she or he is.

Swing Left and Flippable just merged. Now, their Super State strategy is focused on registering new voters and raising early money to provide a Big Blue Check to the future Democratic Presidential and Senate nominees. No matter who they are.

Indivisible has over 6,000 chapters across the U.S., in every Congressional District. The grassroots organization has energized and organized over 1 million voters since the 2016 election. Now, they’re asking these voters and every primary candidate to take the Indivisible Unity Pledge: Make the primary constructive, rally behind the winner (no matter who she or he is), and do the work to beat Trump. So far, every candidate has signed the Unity Pledge. Except Biden. We’re betting he will.

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Over Whomever

The Climate for Change

Good News from the Resistance: Remember the good ‘ole days, back in the Reagan Administration, when a president who wanted to flip the bird at environmentalists simply ripped the solar panels off the White House roof? Today, the panoply of world-destroying actions our Climate Denier-in-Chief has in his treasure chest surely makes him giddier than a VIP pass to ADULTCON. The Good News? Democrats and swing voters are finally putting the environment at the top of the issues they care about. Cities, states, environmental groups and private sector companies are finding creative ways to fill in the gaps and mitigate the damage until the current resident of the White House is little more than a nasty stain in our collective memory.

Los Angeles, the second largest U.S. city, just launched its own Green New Deal, speeding up its efforts to have a carbon-neutral economy by 2050. Judicially, the state of California has emerged to be a formidable opponent to the White House’s efforts to dismantle Obama-era environmental regulations; federal judges have sided with the state and environmental groups in the majority of cases concerning air pollution, pesticides, and oil and gas extraction. Maine just became the first state to ban single-use Styrofoam. 187 countries signed an agreement to limit plastic waste pollution.  And the nation’s top environmental groups recently joined forces to create GiveGreen, a fundraising platform to support candidates committed to accelerating action on climate change.

Clever scientists and everyday do-gooders continue to come up with lifelines. In Iceland, carbon sequestration technology, Carbfix, is capturing CO2 emissions from a power plant and turning it into stone. Last week, plant-based food company Beyond Meat enjoyed a wildly successful IPO, raising hundreds of millions for its expansion, while combatting the negative environmental impact of animal agriculture with a vegan product that tastes shockingly like real meat.  And in Brazil, a single family has spent the last 20 years planting over 2 million trees in a deforested cattle ranch, which today is home to 293 species of trees, 172 species of birds, 33 species of mammals, and 15 species of reptiles and amphibians.

Our favorite environmental Good News of all? Last month, green-powered energy created more electricity than coal-powered plants in the U.S. Which means that despite our Coal Enthusiast-in-Chief’s best efforts, we’re moving in the right direction. As it turns out, there’s a growing market for renewable energy. Coal? Not so much. Hats off, once again, to our brilliant businessman president.

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The Importance of Following Obama on Twitter

Good News from the Resistance: This week we’re chuckling over our Tweeter-in-Chief’s obsession with the size of Obama’s Twitter base: the former President’s is bigger than his. In an effort to pull ahead of his nemesis, our National Tweeter used most of last week’s White House sit-down with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey to whine about his follower numbers falling. Dorsey did his best to explain to the Numbskull that Twitter periodically deletes “followers” that are bots and spam. The idea of “fake” followers, of course, made little sense to our Narcissist-in-Chief, because by his own assessment, “I’m so much better at Twitter than Obama is.”

Note to readers: Follow Obama on Twitter. Now. 

Also in tech-related Good News … Freshmen Congressional Democrats continue to rake in cash, thanks in large part to donors who are keeping up with a habit they started during the 2018 midterms – giving through ActBlue, an online small-dollar fundraising platform; the dating site Tinder just made it more difficult for George Zimmerman (the racist who killed Trayvon Martin) to get hooked up, when it kicked him off the site for lying in his profile  (he’s also banned from Bumble); when Cruella DeVos banned high school journalists from a community meeting — in their community, the editorial they wrote about it went viral (turning it into a national story covered by the Washington Post and USA Today), as did a photo of a Muslim woman smiling in front of sorry old white dudes protesting outside of the Islamic Circle of North America convention in D.C., demonstrating once again that Love Trumps Hate.

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Resisters, Choose Your Weapon: Water Balloons, Music, or Pies?

Good News from the Resistance:  The first Resistance Acts we covered in Good News (a lifetime ago, 2017) took place at GOP Town Halls, where, thanks in large part to Indivisible, our favorite Resistance start-up, swarming crowds, clever signs, and combative questions became the new normal. Oh, how far we’ve come. Today, there are as many ways to resist as there are our National Embarrassment’s lies. Resisters continue to up their game, using their positions and unique skills to say, hell no. Welcome to This is how to resist if, a collection of our recent favorite resistance actions.

This is how to resist if: you are the secretary-general of NATO; you’re a nun who cares about the Earth; you’re a Californian who loves cows and hates Devin Nunes (R-CA); you like throwing water balloons or baking pies; you are a law school professor who’s good at drawing cartoons; if you are Yo-Yo Ma or a trucker from Illinois.

This is how to resist if: you are a 3rd-grader questioning what you’re being taught; you’re a 7-year old who loves sea turtles; you are pop star Taylor Swift or a hipster indy band; you’re a judge who believes citizenship questions do not belong on the U.S. Census, oil companies do not belong in the Arctic, and children belong with their parents.

Thanks to our Bully-in-Chief, resistance is easier than ever – now, all you need to do is be kind.

This is how to resist with kindness if: you own a 7-11; you are retiring basketball star Dwyane Wade or country music star Brad Paisley; you go to Pike County Elementary School in Georgia or you live in Arcata, California.

This is how we know Resistance works: Take a look at the hit Uber’s app took; see who’s running all three network TV morning shows; calculate how much Susan Collins‘ post-Kavanaugh campaign coffers have suffered.

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Madoff, Mafioso, Martha Stewart, Oh My!

Good News from the Resistance: I’m not going to mention the Mueller Report. I’m tired of it. Enough’s been said. I just won’t go there.

Except to say: Barr’s summary of the 300-page report is at best a joke and at worst a full-blown cover-up; the investigation was an unmitigated success at uncovering both legal and illegal corruption; after a short hiatus Schiff got his groove back, and if he doesn’t get answers to the questions Mueller avoided, the “we know how to do this better than anybody” hard-charging, high profile-seeking Southern District of NY Court will. (Among their cases: Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, Bernie Madoff, Ivan Boesky, Michael Milken, the Gambinos, Martha Stewart, and most recently, Michael Cohen). Unlike Mueller, the NY court’s  mandate is not limited – it can and will go wherever the trails lead. And that’s all I’ll say about Mueller. I promise.

Except to say: Travel back in time, and watch Colbert’s bittersweet Mueller adieu.

Finally, there’s been a spate of Good News around one of America’s biggest embarrassments: OxyContin. More than 500 cities and counties have joined a lawsuit against the Sackler family, owners of Purdue Pharma, the OxyContin pusher that sparked the opioid epidemic; in England, the Tate and National Portrait Galleries will no longer accept donations from the Sacklers, leaving the billionaires fewer options in which to park their ill-gained spoils; Oklahoma settled a suit with the company for $270 million, some of which will fund a National Center for Addiction Studies; on the heels of the OK settlement New York filed the most extensive suit to date against Purdue’s owners; more than 1,600 suits have been consolidated in Ohio, and others are pending in state courts. The next time you visit a Sackler Wing at the Smithsonian, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Louvre, The Guggenheim, or Harvard, say a little prayer for Purdue’s hundreds of thousands of victims. And root for justice, karma, payback, whatever you want call it, to whack the Sacklers and Purdue into oblivion.

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A Good News Junkie’s Crack

Good News from the Resistance: Is it me, or has the news seemed boring lately? Did Manafort’s sentencing fail to give you a lift? Was your response to the photo of Robert Kraft’s favorite sex trafficker yucking it up with Trump at the Super Bowl merely meh? 785 days into our National Nightmare, the Trump Administration has become a Good News junkie’s crack: A drug that gives a short-lived high that makes its users crave more, at higher doses.

As we eagerly await Mueller’s report(s), for the Dems to decide whether or not to impeach, and for the slew of Congressional and New York investigations to bear fruit, we need to keep up our spirits. Thanks to our Crack President, the Good News bar is significantly higher than it was when he took office, and today’s smoking gun can be no less powerful than an AK-47 (with bump stock). But Good News seekers have no fear, for adrenaline-pumping, high-dose Good News is still out there.

Need proof? I submit for your consideration the following  Newsweek story: “Ann Coulter says Jared Kushner could be taken down for buying his Harvard admission before  Mueller indicts him.” This is nothing short of a Good News trifecta: 1) GOP darling Ann Coulter despises the Trumps, 2) the FBI has AK-47-level evidence that parents have bought their kids into the Ivy League, and 3) Coulter thinks Mueller will indict Jared.

Need more? The GOP’s seemingly impervious wall of allegiance to our Liar-in-Chief cracked twice in the past week – on his faux immigration “national emergency,” and his support of the Saudis in Yemen. On the docket: A bi-partisan effort to curtail our Nepotist-in-Chief’s ability to give and revoke security clearances. A fresh, enthusiastic Democrat-led Congress working in tandem with GOP Senators who have the guts to buck Mitch McConnell and curtail our Orange Dictator’s power is enough to feed my Good News habit. I hope it feeds yours, too.

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Why Thugs for Trump Need Tupac

Good News from the Resistance: It was another rollicking week for the Racist-Conman-Cheat squatting in the White House. Be honest:  Did you find yourself siding with both a convicted felon/perjurer, and a ruthless dictator? Listening to Cohen spill the beans on the extent of the (you have to admit it) creative malfeasance of everyone in our Liar-in-Chief’s orbit, a warm, fuzzy sense of contentment flowed through me, with the realization that Thugs for Trump are finally losing.

Alpha Thugs like Cheeto-in-Chief, Donny Jr.Jared, and Pecker are being exposed, and trickle down, MAGA hat-wearing Common Man Thugs —  who are easier to nab than the well-lawyered — are getting their comeuppance. A Cape Cod snowplow driver was fired for intentionally spraying piles of slush on anti-Trump protesters; an Alabama newspaper editor who encouraged the KKK to “ride again” was fired and replaced by a black woman; a GOP operative was indicted on absentee-ballot fraud in N.C., prompting an election re-do (in which the GOP candidate had “won”); the Florida Bar is investigating GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz for threatening Michael Cohen before his Congressional testimony; and in Colorado, the owner of a sporting goods store is going out-of-business after deciding to remove Nike products from his shelves in protest of the company’s support of Colin Kaepernick. “As much as I hate to admit this, perhaps there are more … Colin Kaepernick supporters out there than I realized,” the now defunct store’s owner complained.

The late rapper Tupac Shakur had a tattoo on his stomach: THUG LIFE. It was an acronym for The Hate U Give Little Infants Fu**s Everybody. Tupac’s THUG LIFE was a rallying cry for adults to stop filling kids’ minds with hate; what we teach our children comes back to affect us all. My hope is that when our National Nightmare is over, and the Alpha Thugs are all in jail, they’ll use some of their newfound spare time to listen to a little Tupac.  And come to understand what THUG LIFE is really about.

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