What a Piece of Work is Man!

Good News from the Resistance: Let’s consider for a moment all we’ve learned about the nuances of the U.S. Constitution since the Grifter-in-Chief moved into the White House. We’ve had one big fat lesson in How to Lie, Cheat, Abuse and Steal Your Way Into and Throughout the Presidency. It’s clear sailing with Moscow Mitch at the helm! Now, as  Pelosi, Schiff et. al. turn up the heat, we have much to learn from the latest chapter of the GOP playbook: Grace Under Pressure: What to do When the Vise Tightens. My favorite lessons learned (so far):

  • If you are a GOP Congressman asked an uncomfortable question about our Russian-Asset-in-Chief, avoid answering it by head-butting the reporter’s camera,
  • If you are a pre-verbal MAGA-hat-wearing goon who finds himself outnumbered at an anti-Trump protest (go figure!), whip out the bear repellent spray,
  • If you are a GOP lackey nominated for a judgeship, and during confirmation hearings you are confronted with your own homophobic statements, cry, baby, cry (warning: this is the most cringeworthy video I’ve seen in a long while),
  • If you are the president’s personal lawyer and his former cybersecurity expert, and you can’t remember the password on your iPhone, head to the closest Apple Genius Bar for help, and
  •  When losing your job becomes a real possibility, get a note from your podiatrist.

There will be no mention of the “I” word in this post. Instead, there will be stories that make me smile. Because no matter how dark the news, the daily reminders of our fellow humans’ creativity and ingenuity never cease to brighten my day.

Here we go …

In Massachusetts, local politicians are fighting for the right to see their neighbors’ nightgowns and underpants hanging on clotheslines; if you cut off someone in traffic and suddenly hear the sound of a loud fart or bleating goat, it’s the Tesla driver behind you;  grandmas are the new flower girls; when a middle school principal announced he would not stock bathrooms with free sanitary products, 7th grade girls said, “chew on this“; a black lab was sworn in at Chicago’s state’s attorney’s office (she has a real job); Rudy G. keeps butt-dialing an NBC reporter, and the messages captured are the stuff of political reporters’ dreams; there’s been a resurgence of witches!

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In Praise of Incompetence!

Good News from the Resistance:  Last week we learned about a new piece of Trump’s immigration policy — he dreamed of building a border moat, and filling it with alligators and snakes. His aides got cost estimates. The Good News? After three years, our Clown-in-Chief still has the ability to make me laugh so hard I fell off the couch. The Really Good News? This was just one of a litany of reminders of the childish ineptness of the current Administration. To quote my friend Billy Shore, who leads a national anti-hunger organization, “(their) incompetence has worked in our favor.” To which I say, Praise Ye Incompetence!

Our Reality TV star-in-Chief made a lot of campaign promises, yet after close to 1,000 days in the White House, he’s failed to deliver. Thanks to his stunning incompetence, and a bit of help from his loyal and corrupt henchmen and dangerously clueless family, he’s been unable to: ban all Muslims from entering the U.S.; remove Syrian refugees; create a Commission on radical Islam; build a wall (or a moat) and make Mexico pay for it; end birthright citizenship; cancel federal aid to sanctuary cities; expand fast-track deportation; add a citizenship question to the U.S. Census; change the vaccination schedule for children; or bring back waterboarding. Obamacare still stands, Mt. Denali has not be renamed Mt. McKinely, Medicaid is not funded through block grants to states, and $20 billion has not been invested in “school choice.” Praise Ye Incompetence!

But that’s legislation; our Grifter-in-Chief ran on a “this country needs a businessman who knows how to run things!” platform. How’s he doing with that?

Our  Bankrupter-in-Chief already — with a year to go —  holds the record for both Cabinet and White House turnover; he’s lost more Cabinet heads to ethics violations and corruption than any president in U.S. history, and underlings who don’t buy what he’s selling (Comey, Scaramucci, McCabe, Shulkin, Sessions, Omarosa, Bolton) are dismissed by the boss with his signature phrase, “You’re fired!” Which is why White House morale is so low (former WH chief-of-staff John Kelly said, “working for Donald Trump was the worst fucking job I’ve ever had”), that we, the taxpayers, are footing an $18,000 bill for a White House executive coach. (Good luck with that). Let’s hope the coach continues to be unable to control the gut-bustingly funny mistakes and retributive leaksPraise Ye Incompetence!

And yet. While our Baffoon-in-Chief continues to outdo his own mendacity, unlikely fixers are stepping up.  Auto manufacturers are fighting Trump’s relaxed air pollution and emissions rules. Walmart is filling a void on gun policy. Greta has mobilized young people across the world, and she will not stop. Cities like L.A. are out in front on electric vehicle adoption. Amazon just ordered 100,000 electric delivery vans; FedEx ordered 1,000 more.

Note to our National Clown: This is how you run a thriving business. Praise Ye Competence!

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Let’s Move the Statue of Liberty to Portland?

Good News from the Resistance: Maine has the oldest and second whitest (Go Vermont!) population in America. So when 400+ asylum-seekers landed in the state this past summer, mostly from the Congo and Angola, many — including Portland Mayor Ethan Strimling — recognized an opportunity. “If we have discovered the magic wand that will bring young families to Portland to help us build the next generation, why would we want to stop that, especially when it costs us so little money?” the mayor said.

Why Maine? No one knows exactly. Some recent arrivals said they’d heard through the grapevine that Portland was a safe, aging city that needed more workers. Others had heard there was a strong safety net.

After making their way by air to Brazil, then by foot and bus through Mexico to the Texas border, what the migrants found in Portland was a welcoming community. When the city set up hundreds of cots in the Portland Expo and school gyms, 1,200 residents volunteered to help. In Cape Elizabeth, there was a Welcome! 4th of July picnic. The Portland City Council voted to allocate $900,000+ of private donations for the new arrivals’ housing and basic needs. Non-profits like the New Mainers Resource Center helped find the migrants more permanent housing in Portland and nearby townsProsperity Maine – whose executive director Claude Rwaganje was born in the Congo — provides financial education, “the first step to achieving your American dream.”

Last week, Luc Mpangaje flew from his home in Texas to Portland, to thank members of the First Parish Church for helping him in 2010 when he’d been an asylum seeker fleeing Burundi, where he’d been jailed and beaten by police for his political views. He’d arrived in Portland with $80, speaking no English, without his family. Now a U.S. citizen living in Dallas, and reunited with his wife and 10-year old son Malcolm and 13-year old daughter Yasmine, Mpangaje works as an airport shuttle driver. He’s saving to move his family back to Portland.

“If you do something good for me, you’ll always stay in my heart,” Mpangaje said. “That’s why I keep coming back here – because I feel like I owe something.”

Mainers, listen up! Ditch Susan Collins, and you’ll soon be topping another list: Best State in the U.S. 

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It’s Obama’s Fault!

Good News from the Resistance: Have you been keeping track of all the culprits the Occupant of the White House (OWH) has blamed for the recent mass shootings? Here’s a quick recap: the mentally ill (specifically, a shortage of institutions to house them), racist Hollywoodfake newsvideo games, the internet and social media.

And what about the looming recession? That’s a conspiracy between people who want to see the OWH lose in 2020, selfish Democrats, the media, and his own “clueless” Fed Chair– who said he won’t leave if the OWH fires him. Further demonstrating the boundless fantasy-based derangement of the party of Bullets & Blame, Ohio GOP state rep Candace Keller blamed homosexual marriage, drag queen advocates, legalized marijuana, parents who defend misbehaving students in school, and Obama for the Dayton mass shooting. And while we’re on the subject of Obama, guess whose fault it is that the White House air conditioning system isn’t up to par? Bingo! You got it!

Good News Trivia Quiz: Who remembers the 1970’s jazzy disco song, Pick Up the Pieces? It’s mostly instrumental, except for, “Pick up the pieces!,” being shouted a couple of times throughout it. Why is it that a song I never really liked, and certainly haven’t thought about in 40+ years, is now playing an infinite loop in my head? Because it so aptly explains what so many are doing in response to the non-stop barrage of OWH-created tragedies.

After the Mississippi ICE raid, a pizza shop, pastors, and several hundred outspoken Latinx marchers picked up the pieces. In Chicago, neighborhood volunteers are picking up the pieces by accompanying undocumented immigrants wherever they go. NFL players picked up the pieces in L.A., by posting $50,000 bail for a student who had been jailed by ICE for three months. Lady Gaga picked up the pieces in Dayton, Gilroy and El Paso; The King of Sitcoms, Chuck Lorre, picked up the pieces with yellow IMAG hats; California professors picked up the pieces with see-saws; Brunswick, Maine picked up the pieces by hiring a cultural broker.

Democrats, listen up! We’ve got a campaign slogan and theme song for our presidential nominee: Imagine this playing as thousands of balloons are released from the ceiling at the Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee. The Good News? The band that sold over 1 million copies of Pick Up the Pieces is still touring. The Bad News? Average White Band is in serious need of a name change. Guys, you’ve got 11 months to do it. 

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We’re Still Showing Up

Good News from the Resistance: Take this quiz: Name 5 Trump-related dramas (typically Twitter-induced) that got extensive press coverage the first half of July. Hard to do, right? There are just too many stories, changing too quickly. Yet, there’s one sticky issue that won’t go away: immigration. Our Racist-in-Chief is relentless in his efforts to rid the U.S. of all non-white immigrants. The white ones? He’s okay with those. Our forward-thinking Sexual Predator-in-Chief doesn’t want to limit his dating pool once Melania leaves him.

Here’s the thing: Contrary to predictions made after the 2017 Women’s March, we have not become inured to “the new normal” of racism and hate. Spiteful Executive Orders and callow Tweets still rouse us to action. In a weird way, the object of our resistance is protecting us from resistance fatigue, by handing us such a diverse menu of options. Does the mental health crisis in immigrant detention centers get you to call your member of Congress? If not, then perhaps the spike in children being separated from their parents at the border will. Do the threatened ICE raids motivate you to have that conversation with your neighbor about why she should register to vote? If not, then maybe the vitriol he’s lobbed at The Squad will. Our resistance has not fizzled. Rather, it’s become more creative, targeted, and diverse. It’s now big enough and strong enough so that when some of us need to take a break to recharge, others are ready to jump in and carry the torch.

Yes, we’re still showing up. At the beginning of July, tens of thousands of us rallied across the U.S. to #ClosetheCamps, and two weeks later we showed up again, at 600+ Lights for Liberty events protesting ICE detention centers. Japanese-Americans who were interned during WWII and #JewsAgainstICE are showing up in force with the message, “never again.” Latter-day Saints are protesting poor treatment of immigrants, whom they consider like-minded “pioneers”; a 90-year old nun got arrested in D.C., along with 70 of her Catholic colleagues. And during the World Cup, a group of French soccer fans joined the resistance by chanting “F*ck Trump” during a live Fox TV broadcast.

In Iowa, 50 moms took over Senator Joni Ernst’s office to protest the treatment of immigrant kids. In Phoenix, an abandoned school was turned into a Welcome Center for asylum-seeking families.. In Nashville, when ICE showed up for a father and his 12-year old son, their neighbors formed a human chain to protect them. Kindness keeps breaking through.

What do we have to show for our work? A recent poll shows Mitch McConnell (R-KY) as the country’s most disliked Senator, followed closely by Susan Collins (R-ME). In 2020, McConnell will have a strong opponent, and Collins just announced she may be retiring. States are passing laws ensuring voting rights and immigrant rights. ICE’s highly publicized sweep that was intended to roundup 2,100 undocumented immigrants netted 35 people. Lawmakers representing the RNC’s host city passed a resolution condemning Trump’s “racist and xenophobic” language, adding that it will not be tolerated in the city. And critics of the Administration’s immigration “policies” are winning the on-line messaging fight.

At the same time, large swaths of Trump’s immigration agenda are being held up in courts. This week, a judge issued a preliminary injunction against new restrictions that would have stopped most asylum-seekers coming into the U.S. via Mexico. His attempt to deny bail to asylum-seekers who have been jailed was quashed. And don’t forget –  the Supreme Court ruled not to allow a  citizenship question on the 2020 Census. Trump was ready to fight that, too, but ultimately backed down. Public pressure is likely to have had something to do with his decision. That’s you, that’s me, that’s us.

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Won’t You Be a Helper?

Good News from the Resistance: It’s been a horrible few days for Good News Seekers. Which means it’s time, once again, to turn to one of our favorite philosophers for insight: Mr. Rogers, who told us, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You always find people who are helping.'” Now’s the time for each of us to step up to be a Helper. Our voices matter.

This morning we reached out to Congressional aides to ask what we can do. Our immediate course of action is simple: 1) Send a message of support or call everyone on The Squad to say thank-you, we’ve got your back, 2) Call or send a message of support to the 13 GOP lawmakers who condemned the Racist-in-Chief’s remarks, and 3) Call or send a message of outrage to the 13 GOP lawmakers who supported the Racist’s remarks.

Don’t have time to send 30 notes or make 30 calls? Then check the lists to see if there is a lawmaker from your district, and contact them. If not, figure out what you feel most strongly about — supporting The Squad, thanking the 13 GOP Lawmakers with a Spine, or condemning the 13 Super Duper Extra Special Evil Racists. Just do something.

We’ve made it easy. Click on the link of the person you want to contact, and all the info you need will be there.

To send a message of support to each member of The Squad: (Note: Preferred method is to send a postcard or letter unless you live in the Congresswoman’s district; staff answering phones and email are being overwhelmed).

Ayanna PressleyAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez; Ilhan Omar; Rashida Tlaib

To send a message of support to GOP lawmakers who condemned Trump’s remarks:

Kelly Armstrong (R-ND); Troy Balderson (R-OH); Tom Cole (R-OK); Joni Ernst (R-IA); Mike Gallagher (R-WI); Bill Huizenga (R-MI); Will Hurd (R-TX); David Joyce (R-OH); Lisa Murkowski (R-AK); Pete Olson (R-TX); Rob Portman (R-OH); Marco Rubio (R-FL); Michael Turner (R-OH)

To send a message of outrage to GOP lawmakers who supported Trump’s remarks:

Ralph Abraham (R-LA); Jim Banks (R-IN); Bradley Byrne (R-AL); Dan Crenshaw (R-TX); Steve Daines (R-MT); Sean P. Duffy (R-WI); Lance Gooden (R-TX); . Lindsey O. Graham (R-SC); Andy Harris (R-MD); James M. Inhofe (R-OK); Jim Jordan (R-OH); Ralph Norman (R-SC); Scott Perry (R-PA)

Extra Credit: Forward this post to family and friends, especially those who live in districts represented by GOP lawmakers listed above. Politicians care first and foremost about getting re-elected. They need to hear from their constituents.

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Let’s Get Patriotic!

Good News from the Resistance: There’s nothing our Baby Blimp president hates more than losing. So while he’s readying for our nation’s 243rd birthday by trotting across the globe tickling the palms of dictators, we’re celebrating the 4th by highlighting a few of his notable losses.

So let’s get patriotic, and make a game of this. Which of the following losses do you think provoked the most spirited Impotus Temper TantrumLosing  a) his Hollywood star; b) the ability to keep his financial records a secret; c) large swaths of his Wall in Arizona, New Mexico and California; d) his presence on Ravelry (a popular knitting site); e) big media’s attention; f) his Suckup-in-Chiefette; g) his truth-telling pollsters; h) the NRA’s political director, i) his whip-carrying Chief of Protocol; j) private vetting documents detailing dirt on his talented staff; k) the opportunity to meet Megan Rapinoe; l) immigrant detention centers run by his private sector cronies; m) his faith in baby boy Trump Jr. being able to drink safely; n) a defense secretary who claimed his son was acting in self-defense when he beat his mother unconscious with a baseball bat.

Extra credit: Which of these losses do you imagine our Racist-in-Chief took hardest? a) A “very fine person,” a.k.a. the Charlottesville neo-Nazi murderer, being sentenced to life in prison; b) 72 Philadelphia police officers taken off street duty for writing racist Facebook posts; c) Richmond renaming an iconic boulevard after Arthur Ashe.

Which is all to say, when bad things happen to bad people, it’s all good.  Yes, there’s even more Good News from the Resistance:

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Rikers, the Blimp and the Queen

Good News from the Resistance:  Pelosi continues to resist the  “I”-word, yet last week she uttered the “P”-word. Which got us dreaming about a Future-Convict-in-Chief, and wondering what’s up with his incarcerated former BFFs: Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort. How are those good ‘ole Swamp Dwellers doing?

Attorney Michael Cohen is having the time of his life in “one of the cushiest lock-ups in the country,” where inmates are treating him like a celebrity, pumping him for details about his former boss and his intimate knowledge of porn stars. The Orange Grifter’s campaign manager, Paul Manafort? Not so lucky. He’s being transferred to Rikers – a prison infamous for violence and inmate abuse. At least he’ll have a private room, which should give the ostrich jacket-wearing dandy plenty of time to pump out a memoir. Suggested working title? My Personal Journey From Trump Tower to Rikers.

Meanwhile, the Grifter-in-Chief continues to live it up, checking off items on his Vacation Bucket List. Although, last week’s trip wasn’t quite as bodacious as he’d hoped. Hats off to the Brits! The Carnival of Resistance began before our National Embarrassment even touched ground. As Air Force One was landing, it was hard for the tiny-handed, stubby-fingered leader of the Free World to miss the giant penis and message “Climate Change is Real” mowed into a field below his plane. Talk about creativity.

From the 16-ft. tall farting presidential robot, to Larry the Downing Street Cat, the Resistance was out in full-force, with posters so good they put Americans’ to shame. Tensions rose when a knife-wielding Trump supporter yelled, “I’m going in!” and slashed the resting Baby Trump Blimp, but it was nothing a little duct tape couldn’t fix, and all ended well when the blimp took flight over Parliament, and the amateur surgeon was arrested.

While the Divider-in-Chief is trying his best to break the U.S. government, in London he was pure uniter, doing what no British politician has been able to do: bring together conservatives, liberals, and royals . Everyone snubbed him. Conservative Boris Johnson and opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn both refused a meeting; Princes Harry and William refused him photo-ops; Nasty Meghan remained indisposed. And oh, what we would have given to be a fly on the wall when the Infant-in-Chief learned that his carriage ride with the Queen had been nixed because of the protesters. Hint to Melania: When you get back to NYC, put on a gown and a crown, squeeze your husband into a tux, and take a carriage ride around Central Park.

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Come Together, Right Now …
Over Whomever

Good News from the Resistance: It’s graduation season, and with that comes feel-good stories that uphold the myth of the American Dream. This year’s winners: The 2019 graduating class of Morehouse College won the lottery when investor Robert Smith decided to pay off everyone’s student loans; a homeless high school valedictorian in Memphis got scholarships to 50 colleges. We’re happy for them. (And because we report only Good News, we won’t ask, what about all of the other students with crippling college debt, and the 2.5 million other homeless kids in the U.S.?).

A resistance feel-good story that wasn’t covered? Anti-Education Secretary Cruella DeVos stayed off the graduation circuit this year. Kudos to all of the graduates who booed and turned their backs to DeVos in previous years. You did it!

Here’s the Best News we learned last week: Despite a primary field that looks like Jones Beach on the 4th of July, Democrats are singing a song of unity to beat the Divider-in-Chief. With so much at stake, Dems are already at work — a year ahead of the typical timeline for presidential elections. Remarkably, many of the grassroots resistance organizations formed after the 2016 election and the DNC are moving in the same direction to support our candidate. No matter who she or he is. If Cocaine Mitch can build a unified wall of resistance, so can we. Here are our favorite Good News Efforts:

This summer, Organizing Corps 2020, a DNC project, is hiring rising college seniors, focusing on students of color, in Battleground States. First, the students will be trained in campaign organizing. Then, with the support of local Democratic parties, they’ll organize and register new voters in their neighborhoods and on campus. When they graduate next spring, their first job out of college will be working to elect the 2020 Democratic nominee to the presidency. No matter who she or he is.

Swing Left and Flippable just merged. Now, their Super State strategy is focused on registering new voters and raising early money to provide a Big Blue Check to the future Democratic Presidential and Senate nominees. No matter who they are.

Indivisible has over 6,000 chapters across the U.S., in every Congressional District. The grassroots organization has energized and organized over 1 million voters since the 2016 election. Now, they’re asking these voters and every primary candidate to take the Indivisible Unity Pledge: Make the primary constructive, rally behind the winner (no matter who she or he is), and do the work to beat Trump. So far, every candidate has signed the Unity Pledge. Except Biden. We’re betting he will.

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Over Whomever

The Climate for Change

Good News from the Resistance: Remember the good ‘ole days, back in the Reagan Administration, when a president who wanted to flip the bird at environmentalists simply ripped the solar panels off the White House roof? Today, the panoply of world-destroying actions our Climate Denier-in-Chief has in his treasure chest surely makes him giddier than a VIP pass to ADULTCON. The Good News? Democrats and swing voters are finally putting the environment at the top of the issues they care about. Cities, states, environmental groups and private sector companies are finding creative ways to fill in the gaps and mitigate the damage until the current resident of the White House is little more than a nasty stain in our collective memory.

Los Angeles, the second largest U.S. city, just launched its own Green New Deal, speeding up its efforts to have a carbon-neutral economy by 2050. Judicially, the state of California has emerged to be a formidable opponent to the White House’s efforts to dismantle Obama-era environmental regulations; federal judges have sided with the state and environmental groups in the majority of cases concerning air pollution, pesticides, and oil and gas extraction. Maine just became the first state to ban single-use Styrofoam. 187 countries signed an agreement to limit plastic waste pollution.  And the nation’s top environmental groups recently joined forces to create GiveGreen, a fundraising platform to support candidates committed to accelerating action on climate change.

Clever scientists and everyday do-gooders continue to come up with lifelines. In Iceland, carbon sequestration technology, Carbfix, is capturing CO2 emissions from a power plant and turning it into stone. Last week, plant-based food company Beyond Meat enjoyed a wildly successful IPO, raising hundreds of millions for its expansion, while combatting the negative environmental impact of animal agriculture with a vegan product that tastes shockingly like real meat.  And in Brazil, a single family has spent the last 20 years planting over 2 million trees in a deforested cattle ranch, which today is home to 293 species of trees, 172 species of birds, 33 species of mammals, and 15 species of reptiles and amphibians.

Our favorite environmental Good News of all? Last month, green-powered energy created more electricity than coal-powered plants in the U.S. Which means that despite our Coal Enthusiast-in-Chief’s best efforts, we’re moving in the right direction. As it turns out, there’s a growing market for renewable energy. Coal? Not so much. Hats off, once again, to our brilliant businessman president.

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