How to Apologize

Good News from the Resistance: Lately we’ve been bombarded with a rash of public apologies. So many opportunities for hanging-close-to-the-surface attitudes to be laid bare, so many ways to backtrack. Thankfully, American Greetings has created a useful, step-by-step roadmap, Apology Messages. The card company’s guide provides custom mea culpas. Did you offend a friend, lover, co-worker, or boss? No matter who you’ve insulted or pissed off, they’ve got you covered. American Greetings, listen up! Given our political milieu, I’m quite certain there’s money to be made in a new line of cards, Political Apology Messages. Here are just a few, lifted from recent events. Effective, or not? You be the judge.

How to apologize to Blacks and Latinos for stopping, frisking, and locking them up. “I was wrong. And I am sorry.”

How to apologize to the American People if you are the National Archives, and you have airbrushed photos from the 2017 Women’s March, to remove images of “offensive posters.” “We made a mistake.”

How to apologize to a Black Congresswoman whose anti-white supremacy MLK Day speech you called “a rant,” if you are a white Republican governor. “The governor agreed with Congresswoman Pressley’s remarks today and believes her speech was moving.”

How to apologize to wheelchair users for charging them $25,000 for a $16 train ticket. “We apologize for their inconvenience as we have been working through how to serve their travel needs.” 

How to apologize to your political rival if you are running for president, and one of your surrogates writes an Op-Ed accusing him of having “a big corruption problem.” “It is absolutely not my view that Joe is corrupt in any way. And I’m sorry that that op-ed appeared.”

How to apologize to a newly elected Latina city councilor after getting outed for leaving a message on her voicemail that started, “Let me tell you something you bigot, you fascist, you criminal….” “I’m a hothead sometimes. I am not a hateful person… You’re going to make a difference. Whether I agree with you or disagree with you.” 

How to not apologize to your husband if he’s the Treasury Secretary who’s just insulted Greta, whom you adore. “I stand by Greta.”

The Good News? Hateful comments and bad behaviors are being called out – and the perpetrators feel the need (for whatever reason) to apologize. Yes, there’s more Good News from the Resistance:

Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up. 

WE WHEN THE GOOD GALS WIN

These mothers stood their ground. And won.

Read the Newly-Homed News

WE GLAM DOGS

Turn the Cone of Shame into a Glamour Cone for your beloved pooch.

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WE SINGING AND DANCING IN CUBA

That our Grifter-in-Chief wants to ban it, makes it all the more sweet.

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WE WHEN SOMEONE MEETS US AT THE AIRPORT

Remember when that used to happen?

Read the Airport News

WE PLANTING TREES

A small gesture, in the right direction.

Read the Arbor News

WE KIDS WITH BIG HEARTS

And this kid loves koalas.

Read the Koala News

WE YOUNG CLIMATE ACTIVISTS AT DAVOS

They didn’t get headlines like the rich and powerful, but they were there, on behalf of the planet.

Read the Youth Activist News

WE SWAPPING COLUMBUS DAY FOR FAIRER ELECTIONS

And we hope Sandusky becomes the first of many.

Read the Fair Election News

WE MICHELLE

And now we have a huge incentive to create an Instagram account.

Read the Michelle Obama News

WE TAKING ACTION: Help Flip the Senate and Emasculate Mitch

 

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