Good News July 24

Good News from the Resistance:  It was bound to happen. Our Traitor-in-Chief took his bromance with Putin to the next level. In all of his wildest dreams, he could not have imagined a more fabulous bonus excursion to top off his best European Vacation ever, where he got to sit in Winston Churchill’s chair (oops!), walk in front of the Queen (oops!) and admire her brooch (good one, Queen!), take in the witty signs being carried by the hundreds of thousands of supporters who cheered him in London, and wave to the smaller — albeit no less enthusiastic — crowd who greeted him at his Scottish golf resort, including the creative guy who paraglided onto the course just to say, “Good Job, Donald!”

A summit with his beloved Vladdy –on Reality TV nonetheless — was the cherry on Trump’s NATO sundae. He’d been preparing for this moment since 1987. There was no disputing it now: He rocked it like no other American president had ever rocked a summit. No one knew how to do Diplomacy better than DT. As he walked off the stage Donald was bouyant, already planning to invite Vladdy over to his place to meet his peeps.  Flying high on Cloud 9 as he boarded (soon-to-be-redesigned) Air Force One, Donald was a bit confused when most of his aides hid in the back of the plane.

As it turned out, the aides traveling with The Great Negotiator were the lucky ones; they were cut off from the press during the 8.5 hour flight. Their colleagues in D.C.? Not so fortunate. It took a record-breaking 24+ hours for anyone to figure out a lie to defend their boss’s behavior. In those heady first hours, the best they could do was field press calls with questions of their own, notably, How bad was that?

The Good News? Our Russian Asset-in-Chief did not receive quite the Hero’s Welcome he’d anticipated. “Traitor,” “treasonous,” “high crimes and misdemeanors” were descriptors used – and not only by Anderson Cooper – by a Tea Party lawmaker, former CIA director and Russian ambassador, and — like a knife in his heart — his pals at Fox News. An Ohio GOP chairman quit in protest.

The Best News?  Thanks to the on-going TrumPutin bromance, U.S. election security is finally in the spotlight. Suddenly, high-level agency heads are ignoring their boss’s (as of yet) inexplicable longing for Putin’s affection, and his desperate attempts to let the murderer off the hook. Director of national intelligence Dan Coats announced, “we have been clear in our assessments of Russian meddling in the 2016 election,” and pledged his on-going commitment to providing “unvarnished and objective intelligence”; Rod Rosenstein released DOJ’s anti-hacking strategy report, documenting how, with the help of private sector tech companies,  DOJ has upped its game tackling election hacking and other cyber-crimes; National Security Agency and U.S. Cyber Command are joining forces to counter Russian election meddling— without input from the White House. Trump’s flaccid performance in Helsinki was the Red Bull shot U.S. election security sorely needed.

As for those sad, lost aides who work in the White House? We’re told they’re depressed.

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Read more Good News July 24

Good News July 10

Good News from the Resistance:  Catfish Pruitt, the Deepest Swamp Dweller in D.C., is out. So many scandals, so many conflicts of interest, so many lies, how’d the mulit-tasker find the time to steal so much from the American public while at the same time destroying our air, water, and land?  A heartfelt thank-you to the press and Pruitt’s staff, who made it happen. Before we bid him a final good riddance, let’s take a moment to reflect upon yet another tidbit of Good News: Catfish is busily Dialing for Dollars to create a legal fund, as more than a dozen investigations will continue in his absence. Now that there’s a template for how to oust a Catfish, sinking other Swamp Dwellers should go more quickly. Next on the docket: Let’s-Make-a-Corrupt-Land-Deal Interior Secretary Zinke and Insider-Trading Commerce Secretary Ross.

Speaking of templates — the recent spate of bad news has demonstrated that we, the Resistance, are in top form, as we continue to organize and mobilize, with record speed, to halt president  Darth Hater’s policies. Within a few days of migrant families being separated and their children forced into “baby jails,” hundreds of thousands of us gathered in 700+ massive, pop-up rallies across the U.S. to say NO!  Women, with children by their side or on their breasts, drove many of the demonstrations. There were protests at the borders and at ICE offices. Hundreds of Episcopal leaders sang, marched, and prayed outside of a detention center. 650+ women (including a member of Congress) were arrested when they took over the Senate Hart Building. Rabbis, pastors, and other clergy were arrested in L.A., as was actress-activist Susan Sarandon.

The Good News? Acts of kindness and resistance abound. News organizations banded together to track down kids so that they could be reunited with their parents. A librarian at Columbia University created a team of “digital ninjas” to help with the family reunification effort. In just six days, the team created Torn Apart/Separados, a shocking map of ICE detention centers and Child Jails.

We kept the pressure on. Attorneys general sued the Administration to force it to stop separating families. A federal judge ordered ICE to stop arresting all asylum seekers. Remarkably, Darth reversed his own policy, and signed an Executive Order to stop the separations. A federal court ordered the Administration to reunify children with their parents within 30 days; when the Incompetent Deplorables claimed they couldn’t meet the deadline (the it’s easier to steal kids than to give them back defense?), the court denied an extension and said, “Just Do It.” And when Darth requested long-term detention of children as part of his “immigration plan,” a judge said NO. That should wipe the dollar signs off the pupils of Mr. Hater’s private jail contractor buddies.

The nightmare for these families is far from over. But the Resistance – and people all over the world – are with them. We’re not stopping.

Before we get to work on saving the Supreme Court (yes, it’s a long shot, but possible), let’s take a deep breath and keep our eyes on the news that’s being pushed aside for the Supreme Court story– news we can and have affected, and revel in more Good News from the Resistance:

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Read more Good News July 10

Good News Special Edition: The Helpers

Good News from the Resistance: It’s been a horrible week. We’ve heard from many Resisters who are sick with despair – so many that we decided to publish this Special Edition. Our goal is simple: we want to inspire you to stop compulsively checking your newsfeeds, get up from the couch and move away from the TV, and put the Ben & Jerry’s back into the freezer. We urge you to Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

From the beginning, we knew this presidency would test us; we didn’t know the specifics, but we knew it would be bad. This week, more than others, we learned that our institutions are letting us down. Congress is in cahoots with a corrupt president, and we can no longer count on the courts for justice. In times like these we turn to one of our favorite philosophers for insight: Mr. Rogers, who told us, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You always find people who are helping.’

The Helpers rarely make headline news. Which is why we need to seek them out, applaud and elevate the work they’re doing, learn from them, and be inspired by them. We dedicate this Special Edition to all of The Helpers — individuals and organizations — that continue to work to make America a country we can be proud of. Thank you.

Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

 

Good News June 25

Good News from the Resistance: When our Racist-in-Chief was a mere candidate, he bragged, “I could shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”  That may be true. Thankfully, we have no empirical evidence. Yet. The Good News? After this week’s events, we know with certainty that there’s at least one despicable action Americans will not tolerate from our Wannabe-Shooter-in-Chief: jailing children. The public shaming has begun, and it’s coming from across the political spectrum: U.S. states attorneys and federal prosecutors from both parties; the  Bush family (big shoutout to Laura); the Pope; the Christian right; Jeff Sessions’ church; top GOP Senators; and Melania’s immigration attorney. Even the airlines said NO MORE when they refused to do the Administration’s dirty work – transport children to jail.

There’s more. A bi-partisan group of Governors pulled National Guard troops from the border, or refused to send them. GOP strategist Steve Schmidt, who ran George W. Bush’s presidential campaign, managed John McCain’s in 2008 and helped get John Roberts and Samuel Alito on the Supreme Court, quit the Republican party.  Independent Michael Bloomberg pledged to spend $80 million on the midterms to back Democrats. Slimebag-in-Chief’s former lawyer Michael Cohen resigned from his RNC post. (Flip, Michael, Flip!). And when our Deplorable-in-Chief’s former campaign manager threw gasoline on the fire his former boss created, he was immediately dropped by the agency he’d hired to secure him lucrative speaking gigs.

What did we learn this week? That when the Bully-in-Chief ramps up the fight, Resisters Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.  As a result, three Administration hacks — Just-Carrying-Out-Orders Kirstjen Nielsen, Of-Course-I-Lie-for-my-Boss Sarah Sanders, and Locking-Kids-Up-Mastermind Stephen Miller — can no longer go out to eat without public shaming, and an ICE office in Portland shut down by #OCCUPYICE remains shuttered. When the going gets tough, Resisters get creative.

The BEST NEWS this week? Resisters forced Our National Disgrace to back down and reverse what he had done. And to that we say, KEEP UP THE FIGHT! 

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Read more Good News June 25

Good News June 12

Good News from the Resistance: Is it good news that Melania’s back? We’re not sure. Last week, after she’d been missing for close to a month, we thought the White House hostage had finally escaped, perhaps through the giant sink hole in the White House lawn. Could it be that she’d made a break for it, but our Philanderer-in-Chief sweet-talked her back to his palace? We’ll never know. But we do know this: When the Porn-Star-Schtupper’s Chief Apologist/Liar Rudy Giuliani announced, soon after her return, that Melania believed her husband did not have an affair with Stormy, Melania’s office wasted no time sending a warning shot to the man-splainer, stating, Mrs. Trump has never discussed her thoughts on anything with Mr. Giuliani. To which we say, dig another sink hole, Melania.

Good News junkies had much to celebrate after last week’s elections. Our favorite wins? The judge who showed leniency to a Stanford student who raped an unconscious woman lost his job; an Alabama sheriff who stole $750,000 from the prison food budget lost his primary; Democrat Lauren Arthur flipped a Kansas state senate seat blue; 26-year old PhD student and rapper Mariah Parker won a Georgia commission seat and took her oath of office on Alex Haley’s Autobiography of Malcolm X; and a 26-year old who testified in 2011 for marriage equality by talking about the love between his two moms won an Iowa Democratic primary. The times they are a’changin’…

The Executive and Legislative branches may be teetering on ruin, but there was plenty of good news coming out of the courts this week. A federal judge ruled against our Xenophobe-in-Chief, prohibiting him from withholding federal law enforcement grants from Philadelphia because it’s a sanctuary city; a court ordered Maine’s recalcitrant Trumpian governor to expand Medicaid … or else; a federal judge added to Pruitt’s list of woes by ruling EPA has to produce the science behind their Climate-Denier-in-Chief’s claim that humans are not the cause of climate change; and our favorite ruling of all? Our Sleezebag-in-Chief asked that all of the documents seized from his fixer, Michael Cohen, remain sealed, and Judge Kimba Wood said NO. We’re certainly looking forward to the press getting their hands on those.

Because so much of this week’s Good News reminded us of lyrics from the late, great Leonard Cohen’s song Anthem, we’re dedicating the Here’s more Good News from the Resistance section to Lenny, with this thought in mind:

There’s a crack in everything; That’s how the light gets in:

 Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

Read more Good News June 12

Good News June 5

Good News from the Resistance: Trump-enthusiast Roseanne Barr tweeted – while in an Ambien haze — that former Obama White House aide Valerie Jarrett was the love child of “the muslim brotherhood and planet of the apes,” and in response, the sleep medication manufacturer tweeted back, “racism is not a side effect of our drug.” The Good News? It took ABC’s African-American female president a nanosecond to cancel Barr’s show. Then Barr was dropped by uber-agent ICM. Icing on the cake? Hulu and Viacom will no longer show her reruns. Now that Roseanne’s nest egg is in jeopardy, will our Racist-in-Chief offer her a job as his Communications Director? Stayed tuned for the next episode of the nation’s favorite reality TV show, Whacko in the White House.

Meanwhile, our Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) file is overflowing with GOP lawmakers, and misguided deplorables trying desperately to touch our Slimer-in-Chief’s golden ring. Congressman Costello (R-PA) is leaving the House because “all I do is answer questions about Donald Trump,”; state Congressman Garrett (R-VA) stepped down after aides outed him for forcing them to pick up his laundry, groceries, and dog poop (his excuse? “I’m an alcoholic.”); GOP rising star Missouri Governor Greitens (and Ken doll look-alike) resigned in the midst of yet another sex scandal (ho hum, getting boooring).

As for those misguided deplorables? Novartis’s general counsel resigned for paying Fixer-in-Chief Michael Cohen $1.2 million for access to the White House (his excuse? “It was legal.”); Manafort’s son-in-law, who recently signed a deal with DOJ to cooperate with multiple criminal probes, is in the market for new lawyers, after his team called it quits over their client’s “lack of candor” and unpaid bills.

The most surprising Good News this week? After attending a classified briefing, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) said he fully supports Mueller’s investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 election, including possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Moscow. And House Majority leader Kevin McCarthy said that Trump should not pardon himself. This is the strongest (only?) evidence to date that GOP leaders are indeed capable of evolving into vertebrates. Hey boys, Just Do It.

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Read more Good News June 5

Good News May 22: Vacation

Good News from the Resistance is on vacation. Yes, even we need to take a news break to remain sane. But we don’t want to leave you high and dry without Good News while we’re gone, so we’ve come up with Good News Lite. We’ll be back in two weeks. In the meantime:

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Good News May 8

Good News from the Resistance: It was another week of resignations, allegations, and fabrications, brought to us by our Morally-Dissolute-Grifter-in-Chief. To cheer ourselves up, we wrote a poem!

Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub.

And who do you think they be?

The Fixer, the Faker, the Bolshevik player

 All of them know there’s pee.

Yup, just when you thought you were safe, the Pee Tape is back! Trump’s alibi – that he could not have possibly done the dirty deed because he didn’t stay in Russia on the night in question — has fallen apart. Flight records, testimony of the Miss Universe host and Trump’s bodyguard  put Trump squarely in Moscow that night. Turns out the Pee-lievers may be right.

In the Olden Days (three weeks ago), when faced with a sex-related scandal to quash, Trump would have thought, “Better Call Cohen!” Well that train has certainly left the station. The presidential fixer who built his practice defending clients convicted of automobile and medical insurance fraud, now has his own criminal investigation to deal with, and was recently slapped with warrants for over $280,000 in taxes he owes on his taxi cab businesses. Next time, Donald, Better Call Saul.

Still trying to decide where to spend your summer vacation? Consider flying to London in July to join the mass protest in honor of Trump’s visit. So far, tens of thousands of Londoners have vowed to greet him with a “carnival of resistance.” Among the protestors will be a 95-year old veteran who says he’s already lived through one bout of fascism, at least 1,000 drag queens, and Jews who will hold a Sabbath service to protest Trump’s antisemitism. Fans of the punk band Green Day have launched an on-line campaign to get the song “American Idiot” to top the charts for his visit.

Reality TV and smut aside, the 2018 midterms are looking better every day. State by state, we’re getting the job done. The governor of Puerto Rico launched a PAC in Florida to mobilize the Puerto Rican vote; when the GOP tried a dirty trick in Arizona to keep McCain’s seat under their control, the Democrats successfully blocked them; in Indiana, a federal judge ruled in favor of the NAACP, requiring at least two satellite locations be set up for early voting; last week, Democrats flipped their 40th statehouse seat; and in Florida, a swing state, Democrat Javier Fernandez won a special election – in Miami-Dade, a swing district . How great is that?

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Read more Good News May 8

Good News April 24

Good News from the Resistance: The tables continue to turn on our Mobster-in-Chief, as he is reminded daily that his lifelong habitude of cheating and lying and threatening to physically harm and/or sue anyone who opposes him is more difficult to maintain while he’s trying to enjoy the spoils of his capstone scam (the White House), than it was as a lowly real estate developer burning through daddy’s cash. Id-driven, impulsive children rarely harbor regrets, but we’ll bet all the rubles stashed in Trump’s laundered bank accounts that as of last week he sorely regretted treating Michael Cohen “like shit” while the sad-sack attorney was under his employ. Will Cohen’s fear of being raped by a non-white man in prison impel him to sing like a canary or flip like a  pancake on a hot griddle? Yes, the raid on Cohen’s office (even before Hannity’s name showed up) was over-the-top Good News.

Resisters are turning up the heat.  Suddenly we’re everywhere: on the streets of Key West, shouting (profanities) at Trump’s motorcade; in Senate hearing rooms stealing the spotlight by photobombing and heckling his Cabinet appointees; in school walkouts commemorating the anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting and pushing for gun control; in courtrooms accusing the 2016 Trump campaign of being “a racketeering enterprise,”; in regulatory agencies where whistleblowers are continuing to speak out against malfeasance and corruption; in newsrooms writing Pulitzer Prize-winning stories that are uncovering the full truth behind Russia, the Trump Campaign, and the 2016 election. It’s all Good News.

Tax Day revealed that more Americans are catching on to Trump’s Tax Scam, the only major legislation the GOP has passed under Trump’s tutelage; Republicans are abandoning their House seats faster than Trump can shtup a porn star or Playboy model; energized young people are forcing mega-corporations to abandon Fox News and to modify their business alliances. Red State teacher rebellions are scaring the hell out of the GOP. Those 2018 midterm elections? Bring ’em on.

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Read more Good News April 24

Good News April 10

Good News from the Resistance: Happy Spring! Cherry blossoms, snowdrops, azaleas, and Resisters are popping up everywhere: No sooner did billionaire Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross announce that the U.S. Census will include a citizenship question, than dozens of city and state Resisters sued to block him; in an unprecedented move, 200 State Department Diplomat Resisters penned a letter to the Senate Foreign Relations committee, urging it to “undo the damage done” by Rex Tillerson; in February, Teacher Resisters went on strike for higher pay in Trump-Supporting West Virginia, and now school strikes are spreading faster than Facebook fake news, as fellow Resisters in other (Red) states follow their lead; and a Sacramento Resister is refusing to sell her family home to anyone who voted for Trump. To all of this we say, Keep it Up!

Lost track of Trump’s legal woes? As it turns out, most of his troubles can be placed into one of three tidy buckets: Sex (Stormy, Summer, Karen), Money (profiting off of presidency), and Russia (Mueller wants to chat). Judges continue to rule against him, and this week there was particularly Good News on the legal front: Trump’s personal lawyer and Hush-Money-Payer-in-Chief Michael Cohen is now of interest to Mueller, and it just may be that Trump’s ex-lawyer John Dowd may have obstructed justice. In the words of the great poet Sting: Be still my beating heart.

Speaking of Russia … Mueller’s been digging around in all kinds of deep, musty places lately. Of interest is why the Russians showed up at the Republican Convention, and it’s a pretty good guess they weren’t there for the GOP elephant swag. Clues could come from an alleged Russian hacker who was extradited from the Czech Republic, and appeared this past week in a San Francisco court. Mueller’s expected to have a lot to ask him, as well as the Cambridge Analytica whistleblower who is happily spilling the beans on how his former employer used Facebook to plunge America into the dystopian nightmare we feared. Stay tuned …

Finally, we would be remiss if we failed to mention EPA Chief Scott I-💗-Fossil-Fuel-Industries Pruitt. Among the stories uncovered about the Swamp-Dweller-du-Jour: Pruitt often failed to pay his lobbyist landlords the $50/night rent he owed, they changed the locks because he wouldn’t move out, and he traveled First Class with a full security detail because someone once yelled a profanity at him in an airport. In total, there are at least 23 ethics charges against him. The Good News? EPA has been reduced to “a slow moving train wreck,” with Pruitt so embroiled in controversy that his agency is, at least for the time being, incapable of implementing his plans for environmental destruction.

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Read more Good News April 10