Good News March 13

Good News from the Resistance: This week, Resisters, we are going to play a new game, Corrupt, Stupid, or Just-Plain-Mean. Here’s how to play: When you see the name of a current or former member of 45’s Cabinet, your task is to slap a judgment on him/her as quickly as you can. You need to choose one, and only one option – Corrupt, Stupid, or Just-Plain-Mean, which is where the game gets difficult. If you can’t decide, click on the name, where we’ve embedded non-fake news to inform your judgment. You can play alone or with friends. The person with the fastest overall reaction time wins. (In the spirit of the times, there are no right or wrong answers. You are rewarded for acting quickly and impulsively). Ok, Resisters, get on your mark, get set, go:

Education Secretary (I’ve Never Visited an Underperforming School) DeVos; Housing and Urban Development Secretary (This Job is Harder than Brain Surgery) Carson; Environmental Protection Agency Secretary (First Class is Way Better than Coach ) Pruitt; Interior Secretary (Drill, Baby, Drill!) Zinke; Treasury Secretary (Doesn’t My Wife Look Hot Handling All of that Money?) Mnuchin; Attorney General (I ♡ Rosenstein) Sessions; Veterans Affairs Secretary (I 😠 My Staff) Shulkin; Health & Human Services Secretary (Private Planes Rock!) Price; Secretary of State (Gone, Baby Gone) Tillerson. Look for future editions of Corrupt, Stupid, or Just-Plain-Mean, as four members of 45’s Cabinet remain scandal-free. For now. (Extra credit: Name them).

Yes, it’s been the same old, same old, as members of 45’s swamp continued to resign and flee; the “Trump” brand was forcibly stripped from golf tee markers and another hotel; and a porn star tightened her vise around the president’s “reputation,” which may or may not be why he summoned Bill Clinton’s impeachment lawyer to the White House for a meet and greet.

This week, Good News seekers, we salute a few of our favorite Resisters who continue to surprise, delight, and inspire us with the many ways they delay, dilute, and defeat 45’s assault on the America we love. A big thank you to:

 Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

Read more Good News March 13

Good News March 6

Good News from the Resistance: At long last, a school shooting is hitting the NRA  in the only place its members bleed: their wallets. Thanks in large part to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School survivor-activists like Emma Gonzales, companies are severing their NRA relationships as fast as a 19-year old can pull the trigger on an AR-15 assault rifle. In the last week, NRA’s ammosexual members lost their discounts on United and Delta airlines, National Bank of Omaha credit cards, Hertz, Avis, Budget and Enterprise car rentals, Met Life insurance, and more. Walmart announced it will no longer sell guns and ammo to anyone under 21, so teenagers shopping for party-packs of Cheetos and beer, who want to pick up a rifle too, will have to make an extra stop at a smaller gun store. Yes, these are baby steps. But there’s no denying that over the last few weeks, the national conversation on gun control has changed. Gun company stocks are plummeting, and Remington is filing for bankruptcy. Here’s hoping that other manufacturers follow Remington’s lead.

White House and agency appointees are scattering like an intrusion of roaches when the light’s flipped on, as an anti-45, “what the hell have we bought into?” wave builds. 45’s trusted 29-year-old advisor and White-Liar-in-Chief Hope Hicks is out, as is Senior White House spokesman and Ivanka confidant Josh Raffel. No one can blame the U.S. Ambassador to Mexico for calling it quits, and we can all feel the pain of the soon-to-be former deputy head of the Department of Homeland Security. Adios, ladies.

Keep that chin up and your spirits high, Good News seekers, because Mueller’s getting closer and and his net is getting tighter. Jared is slowly, torturously being destroyed, 45’s friends continue to worry, off-the-record, about his “well-being,” and the BEST NEWS yet — Mueller is subpoenaing all emails, texts, handwritten notes, etc. that ex-45 aide Sam Nunberg sent and received from 10 members of 45’s most Inner Circle. #3 on the list is certain to make you smile. Read on for even more Good News:

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Read more Good News March 6

Good News February 20

Good News from the Resistance: It was a dark week in America as we were reminded, once again, how much the NRA has spent to elect politicians who pledge their allegiance to ensuring Americans’ unfettered access to guns: Over $30 million to elect Trump, and tens of millions more to elect and keep in office a who’s who list of legislators, topped by John McCain ($7.7 million), Richard Burr ($7 million), Roy Blunt ($4.5 million), and Marco Rubio ($3.3 million), men whose prayers are cheap and price tags are steep. Recognizing that adults have so profoundly let them down, kids are springing to action. Their activism began immediately after the shooting, and continued throughout the weekend, as their friends began to be buried. And they’re just getting started. Save the dates: March 14, 10 a.m., the Women’s March organizers have planned a National School Walkout for all students, teachers, and allies, and March 24 students will March for Our Lives in D.C. and other cities across the U.S. The Good News? The kids (who are not old enough to vote) just may get Congress to act.

Mueller’s 13 new indictments made headline news (yeah!), but there was more Good News under the radar: The judge presiding over the Manafort and Gates cases chided their lawyers over sealing so many documents, ordered several to be unsealed, and told them to stop it. Takeaway: More Good News will be seeing the light of day in the weeks to come.

Being married to a White House staffer is now a bit safer, as is taking the train. Two of 45’s wife beater buddies are out, staff secretary Rob Porter and speechwriter David Sorenson, and the Federal Railroad Administration acting head resigned in the aftermath of another fatal train crash. Chief-of-Staff for the Veteran’s Administration “retired,” after getting caught lying and altering a document that got the VA to pay for his boss’s (the 45-appointed VA Secretary) wife’s travel and tickets to Wimbledon. 45’s D.C. swamp is draining so quickly, it’s starting to resemble a California reservoir.

Our hunch is that more Good News is lurking within the files of the journalists and government agencies actively investigating four more members of 45’s Inner Circle: Veteran’s Affairs secretary David Shulkin, EPA chief Scott Pruitt, FCC chairman Ajit Pai, and Housing and Urban Development head Ben Carson. In case you’ve lost count: 40% of 45’s cabinet-level picks have faced controversies, typically concerning ethics. Our prediction? Ever the over-achiever with impeccable judgment to boot, 45’s not going to rest until that 40% gets huuuger.

This week we were reminded of all the ways our Bully-in-Chief continues to tap our Resistance Creativity. (And we thought we’d peaked with our Women’s March signs and Pussy Hats). Women in Arizona mailed a legislator Tampons after he voted to stop providing them to inmates; over President’s Day weekend, more than 4,000 Resisters threw “Trump Impeachment Parties,” featuring finger foods like Comey Cake Balls and Putin Pudding Cups; in a rebuke of Mueller’s uncovered truths, 45-sympathazier Devin Nunes (R-CA ) created his own “untruthy” website, which hackers immediately brought down; when a Texas man was asked to leave a restaurant for wearing a FUCK TRUMP t-shirt, he was ready with the perfect response; an Arizona county resisted 45 by turning down money to “secure” its border; a Utah elementary school is now named after the first black female NASA engineer, Mary W. Jackson, rather than slaveholder Andrew Jackson; professors at Jesuit-based Loyola University started a punk band to resist 45, called; and after Dutch women speed skaters won gold, silver, and bronze medals at the Olympics, they taunted 45 with a sign reminding him who’s First.

All of which suggests there may be more ways to resist than there are to illegally launder extra-marital affairs hush money. Yes, good news seekers, there’s even more Good News:

Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

Read more Good News February 20

Good News February 5

Good News from the Resistance: Last week in D.C., Democratic legislators revived the 1982 Clash song, Should I Stay or Should I Go? as each struggled with how he/she would spend the evening while 45 delivered his first State of the Union address. A dozen chose to boycott, while the Black Caucus, female Democrats, and First Lady Melania decided to attend, and signal their resistance through fashion. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg thought it would be the perfect evening to bond with R.I. law students over a “fireside chat.” To just about everyone’s surprise, the questionably literate 45 managed to stick to his Tele-Prompter script. Good Job, Donny! Afterwards, Bernie Sanders delivered a (non-DNC-sanctioned) rebuttal and Joe Kennedy delivered the official one. The score?  The Truth-O-Meter tally of the speech: two False statements, four Mostly False, two Half True, three Mostly True, and one True. Not included in this tally was 45’s claim that more people watched his SOTU on TV than had ever watched an SOTU before. Truth-O-Meter rating of that claim: False.

Resisters were on pins and needles most of the week, anticipating the “Nunes Memo.” 45 claimed its release would 100% vindicate him on charges of colluding with the Russians, and put an end to Mueller’s investigation. (Admit it, Resisters, you were a tiny bit worried). Soon after the big reveal, the memo  was described (generously) as both a “big fat Nothingburger,“and a “sad trombone.” Social media went nuts over Yo’ Memo So Stupid jokes. (Example: Yo’ Memo So Stupid Eric Trump beat it on the SAT). Looks like Mueller won’t be on the job market quite yet. The Democrats claim to have a “counter-memo,” and are pushing for its release. Bacon cheeseburger, anyone?

The GOP swamp continues to drain. Republican legislators are retiring in droves; 45’s Center for Disease Control (CDC) appointee lost her job after it was revealed she’d bought tobacco stock (couldn’t make that one up); 45’s pick to be Ambassador to Singapore withdrew from consideration after she was implicated in the Russia investigation; the White House nominee to head the Council for Environmental Quality is no longer under consideration because she’s a climate change-denier. Which begs the question, “how did she get as far as she did in the nomination process?” But we’ll squelch that thought, and simply rejoice that she’s out. Yes, Resisters, it’s been another rockin’ and rollin’ week in our new reality, but don’t despair, because there’s even more Good News:

Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

Read more Good News February 5

Good News January 29: Mueller Time

Good News from the Resistance: It’s tough not to cringe while thinking about 45 being invited to give the closing address at Davos, but the Good News is that thousands of resisters flooded Zurich streets to protest, a group of seven climbers scaled a Swiss mountain to hang an anti-45 banner, and during 45’s speech attendees booed his “fake news” remarks, while others left, mid-speech, “to catch an early flight.” That said, we’ll be on the lookout for a White House-issued photo of the biggest crowds ever to attend a Davos speech. But now, dear Resisters, it’s Mueller Time …

Much of this week’s Good News was owned by Bob Oh-He’s-Getting-So-Close Mueller.  After interviewing Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Mueller now wants to question 45. Under oath. Our Liar-in-Chief immediately agreed to the interview. Oh, to be  a fly on the wall in White House lawyer Ty Cobb’s office, when he heard his boss had said to reporters, “I’m looking forward to it, actually.”  It’s no surprise that Cobb went into overdrive, back-pedaling and clarifying, trying to clean up yet another 45-induced mess. What could he have to hide? Well, for starters, this week the New York Times reported that 45 tried to fire Mueller last June, but when his lawyer threatened to quit, 45 backed down. Which is why it is increasingly likely that Mueller thinks 45 obstructed justice. To that we say, Go, Bob, Go!

Finally, who would’ve thought so much Good News would come out of Pennsylvania in a single week? A PA court rejected a GOP gerrymandered voting map, which will work in favor of the Blue Wave of 2018; Democrat Austin Davis won in a special election for the PA House, making him the first African-American to represent a district outside of Pittsburgh’s urban core; Rep. Patrick Meehan, a member of the House Ethics Committee, will not seek re-election after it was discovered he had quietly settled a sexual harassment suit filed by a former employee. Icing on the cake? Meehan, a Republican, holds a seat in a largely Democratic district. Once again we say, “Blue Wave.” Keep reading,Good News seekers, as there’s more to cheer about in this week’s Good News:

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Read more Good News January 29: Mueller Time

Good News January 22

Good News from the Resistance: Congratulations, Resisters! You made it through Year 1 of our Dystopian Nightmare. As 45 tried to dismantle our democracy, we woke up, signed up, showed up, and did not give up. Over the weekend, hundreds of thousands of marchers turned up in cities across the U.S. and throughout the world, to insist, resist and persist. Last year’s Women’s March organizers kicked off Power to the Polls in Las Vegas, a drive to register 1 million new voters in time for the midterm elections.

On-going investigations into 45 and his Inner Circle continue, and much like a Whac-a-Mole, they keep popping up. Bannon’s expected to squawk before Mueller’s truth squad, which experts say now has razor-sharp focus on the trail to 45’s dirty Russian money. This week, Mueller’s investigators knocked on the door of the Italian girlfriend of 45’s former campaign aide, George singing-like-a-bird Papadopoulos, and the NRA (yes, that NRA) may have laundered money for the Russians in an effort to get 45 elected.

You know that feeling you get a few minutes before a party, when you fear that all your preparation will be for naught, because no one will show up? For 45, that fear became reality at last year’s Inauguration. After raising $107 million to fete thousands of friends and admirers with the most bigly, huuuge musical stars in the world, most didn’t show up. Which means there was a lot of leftover money. Where’d it go? 45 won’t say. It’s under investigation.

Speaking of tightly held secrets, 45’s dalliance with porn star Stormy Daniels has led to yet another investigation. No, it’s not about the sex – Stormy’s revealed that in horrifying detail. As is often the case with our Real-Estate-Developer-in-Chief, it’s about the cash. Looks like his lawyer set up a shell company to hide Stormy’s hush money. Now, dear Resisters, it’s time to flush from your brain that image of 45 chasing Stormy around the bed in his tighty whities, and read this week’s Good News:

Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

Read more Good News January 22

Good News January 15, 2018

This week’s Good News from the Resistance: The Good News has really piled up while we were on vacation. There’s much to catch up on, so take a deep breath, get yourself comfortable, and prepare to revel in the inaugural Good News of 2018.

First up, of course, is Fire and Fury, a skewering expose of our Dilettante-in-Chief’s journey to the White House, chock full of juicy behind-the-scenes tales. Our favorite tidbit: Bannon threw a Molotov cocktail at 45, using the adjective “treasonous” to describe a meeting between campaign operatives and the Russians.  As a result, we’ve witnessed something as rare as 45’s spokesmodel Sarah Huckabee telling the truth: Fox News has exercised good judgment. The network won’t touch the suddenly toxic, unemployed Bannon.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t catch you up on the new and ongoing investigations and lawsuits. Mark your calendars for May 14, the date Mueller’s requesting Manafort’s trial.  Adding to the former campaign chairman’s woes is a new lawsuit brought by a Russian billionaire, who claims Manafort bilked him out of $19 million. Now take a moment to say a prayer for the Arabs and Jews, because it looks like Jared may have to take time off from negotiating Middle East peace to defend his real estate company on yet more charges; the SEC has opened an investigation of his sketchy use of EB-5 visas, which he granted to wealthy Chinese (not people from sh**hole countries). Ca-ching, ca-ching, is there no end in sight for the First Family’s legal bills? Kushner is being sued by one of his multiple attorneys for not paying his bills, and while the American people continue to foot the bill for 45 to play golf at Mar-a-Lago, the good news is that the laziest president in history has started paying his Russian probe lawyers out of his own pocket.

Have no fear good news seekers, all will work out in the end. A prominent evangelist is calling for fasting and prayer to protect our God-fearing, law-abiding, deeply religious, racist president from harm.  Future issues of Good News will report on how that’s working out.  Yes, there’s even more Good News:

Good News Happy Holidays 2017

This week’s Good News from the Resistance: Good News is going on vacation. Yes, even those of us who focus on good news need to take time to practice these self-care techniques. We’ll be back on Martin Luther King’s birthday. But before we bid adieu until 2018, there are many 2017  “best of” lists and promising numbers to report: 10 best protests of the year; 17 women of color who rocked the Resistance; 83 high-profile men in Axios’s sexual misconduct spreadsheet; 7 banned words (projected onto a hotel); 45’s record-breaking Christmas approval ratingAnd there’s even more Good News:

Good News December 18

This week’s Good News from the Resistance: The good guy won! Only in this place and time would a candidate with a long history of fighting for civil rights just narrowly defeat a pro-slavery, anti-Semitic, anti-Muslim, anti-gay, child molesting Bible thumper. But Jones did win. Why? Because over the last year, while 45 and his Inner Circle have been chipping away at our rights and stuffing them into their pockets, we’ve been organizing. Last week in Alabama The Resistance went pro. Indivisible, Woke Vote, NAACP and others showed we’re ready for 2018. Grateful that black voters – particularly women – showed up in force, resisters were quick to say Thank You. But we need to do more. Now let’s revel in our victory, and take a moment to watch Colbert’s Ballad of Roy Moore. And read more Good News:

Good News December 11

This week’s Good News from the Resistance: Fox News is reeling because Robert Mueller has spent more than $6 million on his investigation. That may seem like a lot of money, until you consider this: it costs taxpayers more than $3 million each time 45 schleps his entourage to Mar-a-Lago. But here’s the $6 million question: what price would you put on the heads of Mueller’s targets; i.e. how much is it worth to you personally, to the country, to the world, and to the planet, for 45 and his Inner Circle to be forced to vacate the White House? To that we say, ka-ching, ka-ching, Mr. Mueller, keep that tab open. Our favorite move Mueller’s made so far? Even if 45 cans him, the investigation goes on. But you knew all of that. Here’s more Good News:

Sign Up. Show Up. Never Give Up.

Read more Good News December 11